This weekend, as FIGT hosts its online Forum Talking Across Divides, I’ve been reflecting on something I see over and over again in my work. (For those who may not know it, FIGT= Families in Global Transition is a global community of individuals, families, and professionals navigating life across cultures, borders, and identities.)

Most difficult conversations don’t fail because people say the wrong thing. They fail because people are not operating from the same reality. Leaders are told to “lean into difficult conversations.” To be more open. More direct. More courageous and yet, even with the best intentions, those conversations still break down. These dialogues do not break down because people don’t care. Not because they lack skill. But because people (in this case leaders) are not actually having the same conversation.

When we operate (work and live) in global environments, disagreement is rarely just about the topic at hand. It is about how we each understand:

• What respect looks like

• How directly something should be said

• When to speak, and when to hold back

• How much context is “enough”

I’ve seen this in leadership teams, in organizations navigating growth, and just as clearly in the FIGT community, among individuals and families who have spent their lives moving across cultures. The same moment, silence, interruption, direct feedback, can carry completely different meanings depending on where you stand. And the challenge that we encounter is that most of the time, no one names it.

We call it miscommunication. We call it tension. We call it a “difficult conversation.”

But what’s actually missing is something else.

Translation.

People who have lived across cultures, such as Third Culture Kids, globally mobile professionals, and inter-cultural families, develop this skill early.

They learn, often without realizing it, to pause and think:

• What does this mean here?

• What would this mean somewhere else?

These individuals are constantly translating not just language, but behavior, tone, intention.

It’s not always easy. But it is a powerful capability. Unfortunately, in organizations, we don’t name this as a skill. We assume clarity is universal. We assume that “being direct” or “being respectful” means the same thing to everyone.

It doesn’t.

And that’s where difficult conversations begin to unravel. So what does cultural translation look like in practice? It’s not complicated, but it does require intention.

In the moment of tension, before reacting, pause and ask:

1. What is being said? Stay with the facts, not the interpretation.

2. What might this mean in their context? What norms, values, or expectations could be shaping this behavior?

3. What meaning am I assigning to it? Where might my own cultural lens be influencing how I’m reading this?

That small shift can change everything because it moves the conversation from reaction to understanding. From assumption to curiosity. From friction to possibility. At FIGT, this kind of translation is part of everyday life. It’s lived, felt, and navigated in real time. At Leading Across Culture (LAC), we focus on making this visible and building it as a leadership capability.

Let's keep in mind that in today’s organizations, the ability to talk across differences is not optional. It shapes how decisions are made. How trust is built. How teams perform under pressure. Our fear of talking across divides must be reframe because in reality difficult conversations don’t require perfect words. They require a deeper awareness of what is happening beneath the words and often, what’s needed most is the ability to translate.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “That didn’t land the way I expected,” there’s a good chance translation was missing. The good news is: this is not an instinct reserved for a few. It’s a skill we can all build. In a world where we are constantly working, leading, and living across differences, it may be one of the most important ones we need to develop.